One Hundred and Fifty Points
by charah.tastic
Summary: The girls decide to visit Honeyduke's for chocolate. Instead, they get , Fizzing Whizbees, Licorice Leeches, Cinnamon Heart Breakers, and, oh, Voldemort. Rated K for one bad word. One. Review!


**A/N: **Dearly beloved. We are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Lord Voldemort's fear factor. After having been killed by a mere _Expelliarmus_, we seem to be unable to take the deceased seriously anymore. This has resulted in a 'baby boom' of fanfictions about different ways Lord Voldemort could have died, most commonly put under the 'humor/parody' genres. Here I am to give you yet another one of these, except this one is all about candy :) . Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **What's that? This solid gold house isn't mind? Too bad. That probably means Harry Potter isn't mine, either...

**Happy Harry Potter Month!**

**ps: **for those of you who've been asking, Serra is the same as Sara, but with cooler spelling. :)

o0o

Hermione, Ginny, and Serra were sneaking. Why? That's a good question.

'Hey, guys? Why are we sneaking? This passage is deserted,' observed Ginny, standing upright, and raising her voice to its normal volume.

'Good point. I assume it's because we thought it was...cool,' explained Hermione. 'It's sort of exciting, isn't it? Breaking the rules?'

'Hermione, are you going to say that every time we're up to something?' demanded Ginny, rolling her eyes.

'Well, _sorry._ It just so happens that I don't break the rules very often, in result, doing so would be rather exciting for me,' snapped Hermione, sticking her nose in the air.

'Well, maybe if you weren't such a goody-two-shoes and violated the rules every once in a while, you'd get used to it, and wouldn't-' began Ginny, but she was cut off by an exasperated Serra.

'Ginny, you and I break enough rules for 5 people, so it only makes sense that Hermione makes up for that by abiding by enough rules for 10. And Hermione, do you have to argue with every single Weasley you see? If you're done being immature, I think I see a light up ahead.'

They walked silently for another few minutes, until the trap door was directly above them. Ginny craned her neck, and tried to peer through the cracks. 'Where are we?'

'Harry said it's Honeyduke's basement,' replied Serra, checking the map to make sure no one was around them. the coast was clear, so she opened the door slowly, and pulled the girls out- who, incidentally, found another reason to bicker.

'Hermione, don't look up my skirt!'

'I'm not looking up your skirt! Why would you even wear a skirt, anyway?'

'You are _so_ looking up my skirt. And I didn't have time to change out of my uniform.'

'Don't you wear stockings, Ginny?'

'No, it's hot. Why would I?'

'For situations like these!'

'Hermione, how many times am I going to be climbing up a stone passageway-'

'HOLY HELL! Grow up! You sound like Crabbe and Goyle!' exclaimed Serra, barely hiding her amusement.

The girls shut up and hid under the Cloak. They didn't want the workers to notice them coming out of the basement. They left the store, took of the Cloak, and came back casually. The smell of sugar and chocolate was almost intoxicating, and incredibly welcoming.

'I can see why Voldemort would want to work here,' observed Serra, immediately filling up a bag of Cinnamon Heart Breakers.

Hermione was having a hard time deciding between Crumlish's Fat Free Chocolate, and Honeyduke's Signature Chocolate. 'Moony Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs. Pick this one, ignore the cons. Prongs, Padfoot, Wormtail, Moony. Choose one now, 'cuz you sound loony,' she muttered. She landed on the fat free one, looking defeated.

'Hermione, what the hell was that?' asked Serra, a twinkle in her eye.

'Oh, just something Sirius taught me,' she muttered, turning crimson. 'Oh, look... Bertie Bott's. I'll get some for Ron and Harry...'

Serra laughed, and followed her to the infamous jelly beans, when Ginny suddenly made herself known to the entire store. 'OUCH! BLOODY CANDY! WHO THE RUDDY HELL MAKES THIS STUFF?! MERLIN'S PANTS!'

Serra and Hermione raced to the front of the store, where Ginny was cradling her hand. A red haired employee came up to Ginny's side. 'Is there a problem, miss?'

'Yeah! How about putting these stupid leeches in a bloody container?' snarled Ginny, sucking on her bleeding knuckles. The employee apologized, and repaired the damage on Ginny's finger with her wand. The crowd that had gathered at Ginny's outburst dispersed, leaving the three girls with the employee. The employee with red hair and freckles... with a name tag that bore the name 'Virginia W.' Hermione and Serra gasped at the same time.

'It's him!' whispered Hermione, clutched her chocolate until her knuckled were white.

'What do we do?! This is epic. Do we kill him?!' replied Serra in an fierce whisper.

'Let's wait for him to make the first move,' replied Hermione, pretending to look at the Licorice wands next to her. 'He might not be looking for a fight right now, you know.'

Serra scoffed quietly, copying Hermione. 'He might not be, but I, Serra Stamina Potter, am.'

Hermione snorted, and tried to pass it off as a cough. But Serra, well acquainted with Ginny and Ron's cover ups, saw right through Hermione. 'Think my middle name's funny? So do I. Sirius named me.'

'Figures,' laughed Hermione. Unfortunately, her laugh did not go unnoticed by Voldemort, who looked up from putting the offending candies into a large glass container. He immidiately dropped the glass lid, which shattered at his feet. Ginny shrieked and jumped back, and was about to yell at who she thought to be Virginia, when the Polyjuice Potion began wearing off. Ginny took another few steps back and hid behind Hermione and Serra.

'HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED!' screamed a young witch. She grabbed her daughters, and ran out of the shop. Everyone followed suit; even the manager. Soon, it was only the three girls and Voldemort- who, despite who he is, was not exactly threatening at the moment, wearing uniform orange robes.

'AHA! Serra Potter and her little cronies. I hope you didn't expect to walk right into my hands and walk right back out completely unharmed,' said Voldemort, drawing his wand and advancing slowly on the girls. They backed up in unison, drawing their own wands.

'Well, we sort of did, Voldemort. No chance of that, is there?' asked Serra on her last ray of hope.

'Insolent girl! How dare you speak my name?!' roared Voldemort. The comic appearance of him in bright robes completely vanished from the girls' minds.

'Fear of a name only increases fear of the ting itself,' mumbled Hermione from Serra's right shoulder. Despite the present situation, Ginny couldn't help herself.

'Get some new lines, will you?'

'..What?' asked Hermione, startled.

'I said, get some new lines! You've repeated yourself twice already!' exclaimed Ginny, throwing up her hands and turning to Hermione in frustration.

'Oh come on... I really wanted to say that one to V-Voldem-mort,' said Hermione, almost sheepishly.

'You read a lot, couldn't you looked something else up in a book?' persisted Ginny.

Voldemort looked confused. Serra looked completely irritated and appalled.

'I can't believe you're bickering. I honestly _can't _believe you're fighting right when we're about to be killed by the greatest dark wizard of all time. Really, you guys never fail to shock me,' said Serra.

'Wait, I'm sorry. Did you say _kill_ you?' asked Voldemort.

'Yeah. Why?' asked Serra, suddenly hopeful.

'You must have misheard me before. I said I wasn't going to let you walk out of here _unharmed_, not _dead,_' explained Voldemort, as though speaking to a little child.

'Forgive me, but it's impossible to walk out of here dead...,' corrected Hermione, turning red and inspecting the floor beside her shoes.

Voldemort sighed. 'I am merely going to cause you a certain level of distress to scare you and everyone else. I have no vendetta against you, or your little friends.'

'Hey, you tried to kill me 2 years ago!' exclaimed Ginny indignantly. 'Through that diary of yours!'

'Ah, yes. You see, little blood traitor, this is why the Malfoy family exists. To place the blame upon. I, therefore, blame Lucius Malfoy for giving you my _journal_. Fair? Now, to more pressing matters. What do teenage girls fear the most, other than death?' Voldemort wondered, twirling his wand between his fingers with malice in his eyes.

'Um.... A broken heart?' supplied Serra.

'Failing a class?' supplied Hermione.

'Z-zits,' Ginny shuddered. She immediately regretted saying it, as Voldemort's face lit up, and he seemed to have settled on a curse.

'Excellent idea, little blood traitor. Who first?'

Serra could not just stand there and let her face be tarnished by the monsters known as _zits_. She didn't want to be turned into Eloise Midgeon or even Marietta Edgecombe. So when Ginny bravely stepped forward, Serra slipped away behind Voldemort unnoticed. She picked up the forgotten container of leech candy, and just as Voldemort opened his mouth, she charged.

'NOOOOOOOOOOOO!' she yelled, and threw the leeches at Voldemort. He turned around just in time to receive a face full.

'Aaarghh!'

Hermione, Serra, and Ginny saw this as a way to make a quick getaway, but Voldemort wasn't that easy to shake off.

'_Immobilus!' _

The girls turned around, horrified to find Voldemort standing up, and shaking the immobilized leech. He didn't waste a minute, and aimed his wand at Hermione, who was farthest. '_Levicorpus_!' he exclaimed, and Hermione was suspended by her ankle in midair. 'Ha! The Half Blood Prince taught me that one!'

Hermione's wand fell below her where she couldn't reach it. Ginny ran to give Hermione her wand back, but Voldemort was quicker.

'_Pudgiferus_!' he exclaimed, and to his great amusement, Ginny started swelling up like a balloon. She became so fat that she could hardly move. She aimed her wand at the laughing villain and exclaimed,' YOU SKINNY BASTARD! _Fernunculum_!'

Voldemort suddenly stopped laughing as his face started sprouting bat wings. Ginny looked triumphant, despite her current state. 'Bat Bogey Hex. Ginny Weasley. Let that be known.' And she waddled off to behind the counter, where she attempted to fix herself.

Voldemort started stumbling around blindly, as though confunded. Despite how inappropriate it may be at the time, Serra could not help but to laugh at the scene: Ginny as fat as a walrus, Hermione hanging upside down and groping helplessly at the ground for her wand, and Voldemort bumping into things with bats sticking out of his face. She began to laugh. Everyone stopped to look at her (in Voldemort's case, he just stopped). Serra could not stop once she started, and she soon fell, rolling about in mad laughter. She didn't realize where she was going, and soon wound up amidst the newly mobilized leeches.

'EEEEEEEEEEEEK!' She screamed, trying to get the biting candy off of her. Everyone else went back to trying to fix themselves. That is, until-

'What _exactly_ is going on here?'

Hermione was the first to react. 'Professor! How did you find us?!'

Professor McGonagall gave them all a stern look, as though dealing with easily threatened misbehaving children. 'I came to Honeydukes seeking more biscuits, as all the students _Dolores_ sends to me are finishing my supply. Now answer_ my _question, Miss Granger: _what is going on?_'

Everyone began speaking at once. McGonagall rubbed her temples, wiped her spectacles, and put them back on. 'Enough!' She moved towards Hermione, whose face was turning a nasty shade of puce. 'Very simple jinx, Miss Granger, I'm sure Miss Potter here has used it many times before. _Liberacorpus._' Hermione fell to the ground, the blood rushing back to the rest of her body. 'Miss Weasley, surely you could have blocked this?' McGonagall sighed, and flicked her wand at Ginny, who deflated immediately. 'Miss Potter, for heaven's sake, it's just candy! Eat it!' Commanded McGonagall.

Serra, completely scratched and bruised, sat up immediately, and put the nasty things in her mouth. They tasted rather horrible, but she was too afraid of the Transfiguration teacher right now to obsess over petty things such as candy.

'Minerva McGonagall?' said Voldemort, facing completely the wrong direction.

'This is just _ludicrous_! I cannot believe that you, of all people, Riddle, has been thwarted by a fourteen year old girl and her Bat Bogey hex. Shame on you!' reprimanded McGonagall, stifling her mirth. 'I am completely disappointed in you. I shall leave you to sort this mess on your own. Back to the castle, girls.'

Hermione, Ginny, and Serra followed Professor McGonagall. Just before they left, Serra told them to wait. She went back to one of the candy bins, scooped up a bag of Fizzing Whizbees, put a sickle on the counter, kicked Voldemort in the shin, and followed them out. Back at the castle, McGonagall made the three girls explain to her properly exactly what had happened.

'Well, professor, Hermione wanted chocolate, so we decided to go to Honeyduke's,' started Ginny.

'Everything was fine when we got there, but then we discovered that one of the workers was actually You-Know-Who-,' said Hermione.

'_Voldemort_,' Serra completed, glaring at Hermione. 'If we just kicked his ass-'

'Miss Potter! 1 point from Gryffindor!' exclaimed McGonagall.

'Alright, sorry. If we just kicked his _butt_ by means of Fred and George's standards of hexes and jinxes, then he really isn't that scary,' snapped Serra.

'Besides, _fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself_,' mimicked Ginny, elbowing Hermione in the ribs, who grimaced.

'Anyway, Professor, Voldemort was Polyjuicing a random girl, but we discovered him,' explained Serra.

'Yes, then he attacked us, so Ginny got a good shot in. And you found us in the middle of rather awkward positions,' finished Hermione.

McGonagall looked at a loss for words. She opened her mouth and closed it like a fish, but nothing came out. Luckily, she was spared having to say anything, because Professor Dumbledore appeared.

'Hi, Professor!' grinned Serra. 'Suppose Abe told you?'

'Yes, Serra, Aberforth has filled me in on recent events,' smiled Dumbledore, fixing her with his x-ray stare. 'I believe it is safe to assume that we are all at a loss for words.'

All three girls nodded their heads in synchronization.

'And it is also safe to assume that you three girls will not repeat your adventurous journey to Hogsmeade,' said Dumbledore, surveying Hermione, who turned pink and studied her feet.

'Very well then. Of course, Ginevra, not many people have achieved the same feat as you! I therefore award Gryffindor thirty one points for originality.'

'Merlin, thanks, Professor!' grinned Ginny.

Dumbledore inclined his head. 'And to Miss Hermione Granger, I thank you. You have taken my words to heart and mind. I have never blushed this much in my rather extensive life. I award Gryffindor forty points for sheer flattery.'

'And you laughed at me...' muttered Hermione to Ginny. She smiled shyly at the Headmaster, who smiled back.

'Wait, Albus, stop awarding them. They broke many school rules. Miss Weasley, my office, 6 o'clock on Sunday evening. Miss Granger, Hagrid needs some help with something called _Aragog._ Miss Potter.' McGonagall paused for effect here, and she smirked at Serra. 'Severus could use some help with his dung beetles, I hear. I'm sure you would do wonderfully. 8 o'clock tomorrow evening. You may leave.'

Ginny and Serra didn't mind the detention as much as Hermione did. She was completely outraged, and stormed out of the office. Ginny followed her quickly, and Serra paused at Dumbledore's side. She put the bag of Whizbees into his hand. He bent down to whisper something in her ear.

'_One hundred and fifty points.'_

**A/N: **yes, this was sort of long. I really hope you liked it. It took me a day to write, but I'm glad it's finally done! I also take full credit to the Marauders' song, but feel free to use it in your fics. Just make sure to mention that it's mine in your disclaimer :)

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Review!

Charah ;D


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